Doing the lesbian
We are currently in Bharatpur where we arrived yesterday, this morning we got up very early to beat the midday sun and go to to the nature reserve famed for its migrating birds. The park was quite big and looked like typical Indian jungle complete with snakes, jackals and tiger, yes just the one, which is rarely seen, despite this Sophie was scared shitless by it even though there was more chance of us dying of dehydration as we had no drinking water with us and walked around for 5 hours in the baking heat(it was about 80degrees when we got up and 100 by the time we got back)O yeah and the birds where lovely for about an hour then I got pissed of with our guide telling us we were looking at what looked to me like a wierd Blackbird for the fifth time and then spotting our hundredth Kingfisher,(in the last hour I couldn't have given a fuck if there was a pink triceratops crossing my path I was so thirsty).
Despite my whingeing,i'm having a great time, apart from men asking us if we want rickshaws, then following us down the street reducing the price to 2 rupees,(obviosly the words NO I DON'T WANT A FUCKING RICKSHAW is yes I would love one bus the price is a bit steep)
However the drivers are funny, mainly the cycle ones as they obviously go a bit mental peddling whole families in the blistering heat, across suicidal traffic.One guy taking us home innocently asked us questons about our jobs ands when we wanted kids and how do two women have sex............yes thats right he wanted me to 'tell him about different kinds of sex' Sophie had to make herself scarce into the room, and I then had to keepa straight face as we went into the finer points of strap ons and fisting (obviously what I've been told by chance) then he keept pointing to his tongue and saysing 'doing the lesbian' at wich point he looked forlorn and said he tried to do it to his girlfriend but she hit him, so I told him to get her drunk first.
So if anyone needs any tips just send an e-mail
Despite not thinking I would miss people I keep thinking of things to do when I get back imagining it only being a few days then realising its ages away.
Love you all very much and don't forget to send an e-mail every so often to let us know your ok.
love Paul
posted by Paul @ 12:58 PM
5 Comments:
wow, top tips there paul. I think I learnt a few things there. ;)
Sounds like your having a great time, its really nice to read your blog and be whisked back momentarily to the wonder that is india.
Are you going to call into Goa at all? if so you have to go to Arombol which is where me and your wonderful sister were staying for 10 weeks earlier this year.
best wishes & hopes for stable stomachs
Dave
So how come you changed into first-person now?
And was that Paul giving tips on fisting or Sophie?
Arrrggghhh, so many questions?
I'm so confused?
(er, that's enough questions - ed.)
?
this blog is written by me paul,so i hope that clears up the confusion tom.Hope poppy's birthday went well send her my love.i have to write this as a comment as i've forgotten the password and soph is not here to help as she has the shits.
Glad your keeping us up to date on the important news storys Tom.
freddie thinks that every one should stop discussing narratives styles and enjoi the hilarious commentary on india.
Hey guys sounds like you're having a ball, doing the lesbian will now become a recognised dance move around the world. x
Poor Sophie! (squelch!)
Yes, Poppy's birthday was a lot of fun and we all got very messy!
And just to keep you abreast... I've written exclusive stories about Wife Swap's Lizzie bardsley advertising on a dating website and Danny Young coming back to Corrie as Warren Baldwin.
The people's great! :-D
xx
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